A tragedy has befallen Woodyman’s Backloggery.
The word document containing my old backlog got corrupted and I lost everything. I can’t remember what games I beat or the original order… so I can’t review them.
All I remember is I LOATHE EVERY CRASH BANDICOOT GAME on the PlayStation 2.
Nevertheless, the show must go on. So I looked at all video games that I OWN and never beat AGAIN, and typed it into a list AGAIN, and I put the list into a random order generator AGAIN… and now I have 335 games in my backlog… AGAIN!
So let’s get to the first game I beat in 2018, and the first game I beat on my new backlog…
DOUBLE DRAGON NEON!
When I was a kid, I’ve learned something about myself that is still true today. I’m not very good at sidescrolling beat-em-up games, but I am amazing at sidescrolling shoot-em-up games. It was true when I was 5, and it’s true now. I played through Double Dragon Neon on Normal mode and died multiple times. I tried my usual tactics of jump kicking everything or spamming light punch but to no avail. The only way I was able to come out on top, was to use the “training wheels” fighting stance, which emphasizes defense over everything else….. and the game mocked me for it.
Despite my suckage, I really did enjoy the game. It’s your typical sidescrolling beat-em-up, similar to Streets of Rage, Final Fight, or Turtles in Time… but adds enough to the formula to make it interesting. As I mentioned before the game has different fighting stances you can choose from and level up. Some increase strength, others defense, and others magic. The other thing added is special moves, like a weak lightning strike, a fireball that crosses the screen, or a badass flying dragon.
The thing that REALLY makes Double Dragon Neon stand out from the rest of the beat-em-ups is the presentation. Double Dragon Neon just oozes style and zaniness everywhere.
Have you ever had to fight an upside-down helicopter?
Have you ever had to fight your evil hulking clone, while shouting goofy catchphrases?
Have you ever punched a giant plant monster, then suddenly the plant monster’s vines grew the head of a shark and the head of a T-Rex?
Have you ever punched a skeleton with a high pitched voice off a moon cliff into space, then suddenly the skeleton starts singing the events of the game?
If you played Double Dragon Neon you have.
Next time on Woodyman’s Backloggery: Bomberman: Act Zero